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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Unexpected Adversity...So What the HELL Else is NEW!??

On Monday September the 8th I woke up knowing that this was the day I had been looking toward as the final decision day concerning my lower right leg. I had spent the previous 7 weeks trying to enjoy the remainder of the summer and decide if I should proceed with an amputation or have another lengthy and painful fusion surgery. It was an agreement I made with my physician, Dr G------ during the last appointment I had w/him. It should have been a simple matter of deciding and setting a date/time for whatever surgery I chose.

As is typical with this 2 year long nightmare, it ended up becoming a huge, confusing mess  of misleading promises and poor communication on the doctor's side. So as I sit and type this out today I am no longer going to that surgeon...after agreeing to do the amputation...he decided that he did not feel comfortable doing it. It felt like a betrayal. I have an appointment with another surgeon in the Kalamazoo area, this time at Western Michigan University Hospital on Friday September 26 at 9:45am. Unfortunately my worst nightmare concerning the preparation for this procedure has taken place: I am starting over from scratch.

I have no idea except the old Doctor's word, which has proven worthless to me to go by that this is an appointment to move forward on amputation yet the different nurses and staff involved continuously refer to this as a "second opinion" and an appointment to discuss alternatives to lessening my great pain and discomfort. I am not even sure that this new surgeon will even do an amputation, though that is his specialty. I am quite heartbroken and the discouragement is so great that I do not want to continue on having to forge another relationship or start again with a multitude of tests, etc.

I realize that this must be God's will but I am weary and honestly do not know how much more I can endure without losing my mind.

That is where I am at the moment with this. I will continue to post updates but nearly a week has gone by with out my commenting on the decision I made and since many friends and family members were thinking about and praying for me...I felt compelled to communicate what the situation was at the moment. Thank you my friends for your love and continuous thoughts and prayers.

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