Saturday, February 5, 2011
HELLO Saturday, what's up?!
I am thinking that what ever got stuck in my craw yesterday has passed through and I think I'm back to the "Cup Half-Full Guy" I am most of the time now. Yes, I get cranky because, as the old cliche goes "life is hard sometimes" and fundamentally changing the way a person approaches their life is full of difficulties and there are times that I do feel beat-down by all the emotion and the intellectual energy that goes into recovery for me. But I have learned to acknowledge that then let it go...that's where e-vomiting becomes useful!
There are basic principals I tend to follow, that a lot of people follow in recovery but the bottom line is each person has to fit it into their own life. Therefore each person does do recovery differently. For some, like myself I grind away at it, much like a job that has to be done. Other folks don't seem to sweat the details as much. It truly is the result that matters more here then the technique....
Of course personality has a great deal to do with that. Plus I'm essentially recovering from some other traumatic emotional issues in my life as well so that adds a little different spin in my particular situation.
It does seem that the farther I go into this process (recovery) the more there is that I have to do...mainly because I learn things as I go. And though I just compared my approach to it as "work like" it really isn't that way in the real sense. It's truly something I want to do, and find many positive benefits in doing so. It certainly feels more healthy from the emotional, psychological and spiritual sides of things. It's only my approach, my focus that is workman like.
When I started, it was such a change from my normal behavior that I really had to force my self to stay in a "recovery focus', as it were. Now as time goes by, it really has become a more natural part of who I am and I no longer think about what I need to be doing as often...it will just happen.
An important learning for me in all of this has been that if life were a foot race, then this would be a Marathon, not a sprint. Recovery isn't a task to be accomplished, nope. It's a life that I have to learn how to live.
And that is what the reader gets to witness here truly, is me learning how to LIVE a recovery focused life and learn to do it well. Because if life is to be nothing but a CHORE, who wants that?! Not I, that's for certain...
So I'm off to another day in the journey, eyes wide open, the emotional gas tank re-filled and I'm ready to jump to it, this should be fun...