Useless Background INFO

If anyone has noticed, I changed the look of the blog a bit yesterday. Nothing big, some color scheme changes and a font and font size change here and there was about it. I am not one of those bloggers who is constantly changing things but I do like to keep it fresh...


But I wonder if anyone has actually figured out that I tend to do this kind of background work when I am ill. Yep I woke up yesterday morning still quite sick from the night before and that continues this morning: Fever, sore throat...I just generally feel lousy and I probably won't be going in to volunteer this morning wanting to avoid bringing illness into the nursing home. Naturally with a fever and feeling as I do I tend to stay inside and what do I do when I'm inside? Spend time on the computer and for me that mostly means blog posting.


After awhile you can only write so much so when I started to get a bit fidgety last evening I started to mess around with the font...one thing led to the other and Ta-Da....here is the new look! I like the white, stream-lined look...black/white contrast always works for me. So basically I like the new look, it works well for me. Sometime in the future I'll look to make some major changes again updating the blog title picture, etc. again but that was way to ambitious for how I was feeling last night...and this morning.


So I thought I would fill in a bit of the Shell Shock Serenade back ground mystery this morning...typically if I am changing the layout of the blog, I'm most likely sick and bored or just REALLY bored! Now that you know...don't you feel special? I knew you would, haha!

Whiny, Boring post...

I've always found it difficult in times of crises not to speculate on things I have no possible ability to know or control. I do have certain medical facts about my current condition in my possession but thats all and there isn't enough there yet to really know what is happening to me. I try, I mean really try to depend on prayer and meditation...to let this go, release it but to no avail.

I've seen the power and effectiveness of both prayer and meditation in my life, just how it can calm, center and re-direct my tension/worry. But I'm still fretting today and again it's my perception of inaction that is fueling it. There just isn't much more that can be done until certain tests come back.

But still that is reason and I'm feeling and acting a tad bit unreasonable at the moment! Seriously I'm OK but it is hard and I feel discouraged. My typical fall back routine: get busy and do housework, yard work, walk, run around town isn't working because I'm too ill to do those things. I almost want to cry...

Because just a little while ago I started to pick up just a few sticks in the yard and I felt so sick. Queasy, weak and light headed, then I ran out of breath. I can't go on like this I just can't...

Alright enough of that...I'm just feeling some emotional fatigue and I need to snap out of it. I really need to find something to do that will keep me occupied. Tomorrow is a rather busy day, the morning anyway and that is a good thing.

The bottom line is there are things I can't control, I need to get over it. There are also things I can't do right now like I'm used to...I need to focus on what I CAN do and do those. I will not sit around here and feel sorry for myself, i just won't. So time to shower up and try to eat something (without slicing the tip of my finger nearly off!).