ODAAT

Today, the 10th day of May, 2010....a Monday. Nothing exceptional really about today. It was typically cool, though sunny barely reaching the high 50's and a brisk SE wind was blowing most of the day. But underlying the obvious normalcy of the day is a hint of promise...

For me, it was just another day waiting for the rest of my new life to continue taking shape. An odd thing to say? Maybe but it's really not such an strange comment when one is essentially beginning their life over at the age of 47. A new financial situation and budget parameters. New medical insurance and the possibility now of having new procedures and surgeries that promise at the very least, a bit of hope of having a life w/out so much physical limitation and pain.

I'm now convinced that my "temporary" move from Holland, MI to Coldwater Lake is in reality more like a permanent move now in hindsight. And it's more then cool with me. This island was my dream, a virtual paradise for me as a young lad and now I get to live here, honestly never imagined that would happen.

Accepting such a drastic change in one's lifestyle, expectations and long term goals wasn't nearly as traumatic as I once envisioned. It all happened rather naturally when I decided to get sober...and healthy.

The actual decision...er, uh..choice to get sober was a rather easy one to make once I was realistic about my alternatives. I either stopped drinking and drugging or I was going to die. I actually thought I had made the choice for the latter but fate intervened and WHALAA!!.....I was somehow choosing life against my will as it were. And I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am that it worked out that way.

If I have a complaint today it is that I am not a patient man...and yep, I am still waiting for certain things to happen before I can totally complete my transition to this "new" world as it were, that I now will live in. I have never been one to trust success...I'll wait for the other shoe to drop and everything to go to hell in a hand basket. There is part of me that is just skeptical that perhaps, after 5 long years things have truly worked out for the best. Intellectually I can see it, it's logical and makes sense. But trusting that it it will indeed happen is  is a completely different matter. Acceptance will take time...