Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Fakes, Phonies and the Modern Day Pharisee
As any regular reader of Shell Shock knows, when I write I rarely hold anything back. Nothing is sacred. I have without a doubt shared just about every dark secret or skeleton in my closet with the entire world via the blog over the last several years. Brutal, unrestrained honesty is not only a requirement for contributing to this blog...it also is an absolutely critical part of my daily recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. Only straight-up honesty heals the wounds of that past life.
Regular readers are also aware of the fact that after writing several posts a day for the last 4 years years, basically without missing a single day that I now can go for a week or more without posting at all....a very drastic change in writing habits.
As an explanation I have used my illnesses and writers block among other things but sitting here tonight watching HBO's coverage of RUSH getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, I just now realized that the truth may be more difficult to admit and define...perhaps even a bit sinister.
I honestly think I'm not writing in Shell Shock Serenade because I do not want to tell the truth about myself and my feeling's right now. As a matter of fact...I'm certain of it.
I imagine that I will deal with the full truth about this subject in the very near future but let's just say I have become disillusioned with the organized aspect of my FAITH...I feel betrayed. I think there are some people I trusted and looked to for support and friendship who are phony and take advantage of people and have betrayed the sacred trust of confidence.
I'm angry and upset because I thought I found a group of people who were mostly genuine and the reality couldn't be further from the Truth. I feel judged, lied to and stupid for ever thinking this church could be different. Nope...they are just the same in many ways to the church leadership of Jesus's Time..the Pharisee's.
A very harsh comparison, I realize but that is the way it makes me feel.
I'll elaborate more next time.....until then, so long!