With all that has transpired these last 14-15 months from an injury/illness standpoint, it is easy to read something more complex, more sinister into what has happened to me. The possibilities run the whole spectrum: from the easily explainable to the really far-fetched.
I find it interesting, bordering on hysterical that most people I encounter, Christians or not...want to attach some sort of mystical/spiritual reason to why this has happened and continues to happen to me. Am I being punished by God or He is taking all this time to teach some kind of lesson? Am I being held accountable (punished) for sins o the past? Could that really be possible. Or is it Bad Karma...My misbehavior of the past had so unbalanced the (my) universe that all these painful & difficult things are happening to me to "balance things out".
Though it is easy for me in my current physical and psychological state of being to by into such a thought, deep down I don't believe it. The
circumstances are indeed severe...these symptoms have lasted a very, long time. It has truly been the most difficult and challenging period of my life. Yet I still believe that it is simply LIFE that is responsible. Not bad Karma or misbehavior. Life has been known to kick peoples butts and it was apparently my turn.
As hard as this is...I am determined to persevere. I'll admit that there are moments that my faith is wavering...how can it not after so much pain and suffering, uncertainty and financial DIFFICULTY.
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