Grateful

I don't really know how to begin...where do I start? Friends, people I care about. Unfortunately I was one of those people who just gave lip service to the word friends. I took 'em for granted , not realizing how incredibly valuable true friendship really is. That is of course until one day I realized that I had no friends...

I chased them all away...made life so fucking unbearable that even those folks who really loved me and cared about me had to cut me loose for their own sanity and health. I resented that then of course. Traitors, bastards..assholes! How dare they turn there back on me! I'll show 'em...by killing me. One drink and drug at a time. Until one day, life was so unbearable and I hated me so much that I couldn't be patient and wait for the booze/drugs to do it so i tried to kill myself. Spent over a week in a coma and when I woke up...I was devastated that once again I had failed.

That day my life changed forever. Slowly over the better part of four years things have come back around.I got sober/clean, healthier and my god, happier! I've learned that fewer things are more important or special then relationships...especially true friendships. I'm fortunate today to have good friends..hell I probably don't deserve 'em!

I just woke up this morning feeling very grateful for the special people that I have in my life today, I'm a very fucking fortunate human being....