What a strange position to find myself in. I have mentioned this before, when discussing my addiction that isolating myself is one of the more dangerous and risky things I can do. And now I find myself in the totally unexpected and UNWANTED position of being almost totally isolated by my health. Every conscious and sub-conscious warning system I have developed during my recovery is going off in my head 24/7! No joke here or exaggeration...I am afraid of this situation.
I was not expecting it of course so I am completely unprepared for it. I am thankful that I do know myself, my feelings and my comfort zones so well that I was aware of this happening to me almost instantaneously...and that is a life-saver...perhaps LITERALLY a saver of a life...my own.
Because this is without a doubt the most challenging situation I have have faced concerning my sobriety in the nearly 7 years I have now been sober. This is not a joke...it's very f**king serious because I could easily have found myself taking a drink or abusing drugs/medications. That is why I am still quite uncertain and fearful about this incident.
Obviously first and foremost I need to get healthy again and get back to my social and volunteering routines. That is the most important part. That and not letting myself get too down about this. It is a set-back yes...but it can and will be overcome. It obviously is hard on me and things will be challenging...especially getting my health and my weight under control.
But I have faith...I really do believe things will work out for the best...no matter what that is. So you can assume my Dear reader that more on this new challenge will be revealed and discussed in up and coming Posts! I will see you soon....
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