DISCLAIMER: I am an angry human being tonight. I am severely injured and sick and I feel a real need to vent. If you are faint of heart or the type who thinks life is all cotton candy and Praise The Lord....well this ain't your cup of TEA. You've been WARNED!
After reading the post title and you just might get the idea that perhaps me life has seen better days? I would say that is an accurate assessment (UNDERSTATEMENT).
Honestly I have two doctors who are literally pushing me back and forth...off one another then onto to third party doctors because they simply do not want to accept their own responsibility in what has happened to me and my health. I have never felt less significant, less then human like a slug...a freaking animal then I do at this moment right now. I couldn't hate myself and my life more.....
Never in 50 years have I been treated this way. Anyone who has simply gotten a glimpse of my right ankle winces and turns away Just from looking at the damn thing....OH, Right Dr Mayer and Dr Whitaker...I am a piece of worthless CRAP and my pain doesn't count.....forgive, I forgot my place!
The fact that I cannot walk without a walker is insignificant....or put any pressure on that right leg without wanting to SCREAM. This is why eternal sleep can sometimes seem like a better alternative to their so-called "treatment by pretending it doesn't exist!!".
Now everywhere I go I am damaged goods and no one will so much as look at me.. Suicide....yea, I'll cop to thinking about it....for first time in 7 years the thought has crossed my mind. I am supposed to be moving in a positive direction in this stage of my life
God? AWOL as far as I can see (and who would blame Him) and I actually figure he is probably behind all of this anyway. I was a shit for a large portion of my life...I am paying for it now. People offer to help me then back off with the Christian "blow-off": "We will be praying for you and available whenever you need help....Blah, Blah, Blah" yet I have not seen 'ya around, PARD. Too busy being Super-Christian I suppose....You play the role so well.
OK...Enough...until next time....GOODBYE!