Thursday, June 27, 2013
I just got back a little while ago from spending some time with one of my favorite people on the planet....my friend Shayne. It's funny...I haven't known him but 3 years or so but I just really enjoy our time together, our conversations and discussions. He is that rare individual (in my life, anyway) who I instantly trusted and with him I always knew there was nothing I had to fear from him. That sounds strange but those kind of individuals were virtually non-existent in my life up until then....I trusted no one....that included myself.
The path back to trusting again has been crowded with obstacles but the rewards are great when I am able to accept someone for who they are and trust the situation for what it IS as opposed to whatever I conjure up with my vivid and paranoid mind.
Back to my friend. We were discussing the impact of my illness/injury on my physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual well being. The truth is it is impacting me a great deal in all of those areas and I have truly come down with a dangerous DOSE of the infamous BLACK DOG (Depression).
Shayne noticed that and called me on it....he is quite worried and concerned about me. He had a right to be, I was in trouble, really focusing in on the pain and negativity, isolated and not seeing or feeling anything useful. All I can see is what I lost...not what I have going for me.
I left there Tuesday morning feeling better but deep down I was still hurting and still was trying to find motivation to write in the blog or wherever else I could.
Then I received this email from Shayne:
Was thinking about yesterday’s conversation and coming to feel more and more that you have a divinely appointed role in this: to help people through the blog (and perhaps other venues) to endure hardship without losing confidence in God. I know so many people who have gone through or are going through pain and fear and loss of control (that last one seems most difficult). You’re experience – if you can continue trusting – coupled with your ability to put feelings and ideas into words could be enormously helpful for others.
Frankly that is the main reason I started Shell Shock Serenade in the first place....to reach out to others and share my story in the hope it may help someone who is struggling to find there way in this rough and tumble world...just like I happen to be at this point in my life.
That is what my friends do for me: They save me from the INSANITY of SELF....in other words they tell it like it is and that is enough to counter-act the crazy crap I convince myself of when I am not connected tightly enough spiritually to my Creator ...and that has sure been the case this time around.