PUSHING & SHOVING...From WITH-IN & WITHOUT!

This long wait until I could have the Ankle Fusion Surgery really has created a rather surreal situation. I have never had MONTHS to prepare for a surgery. Or is it really preparation that I am using this eternity for? It could be just extra time to stress, worry and fret.....in reality it is probable a bit of both...stress out time and preparation time. And this life in a time warp or Twilight Zone Time can really psych you out. In addition to freaking me out, this situation has also had a rather profound effect on me spirituality as one might gather, especially if they happen to know me and how I react to things.

I cannot figure out why this whole thing has happened to me other then it is God's will and it is futile to fight it...it IS what IT is. My only possible (reasonable) option is to embrace it...to learn from from it as much as I possibly can under these conditions.

I don't know what it all means. I no longer know how I feel about it all...I am just plain sick and tired of it. I want to move on.....