Tuesday, October 15, 2013
The Struggle Continues...
My main challenge in life today is: Staying focused on the positive aspects of having this very serious surgery,IE: Being pain free and having some normalcy back in my life with an ankle I can at least live with. It has become critical that I stay "Locked On" to my Creator knowing HE will prevail and I must obediently FOLLOW HIM no matter what....with NO guarantees of success, financial help or escape from this difficult, painful period in my life that I am leading at the moment.
I must continue to battle the creeping DARKNESS that envelopes me every time the phone rings (every 10 minutes now 7am until 10p), because I cannot answer the phone because I cannot pay. It's a horrible situation for one to experience especially when I really need to be focusing health and surgery preparation.
The pain is so intense now that I cannot escape it even for a moment. I persevere by faith alone...no pain medication can touch this pain anyway so that's makes the decision not to get any very easy for me to make. But once I have the surgery, I will have to take the medication because the pain is so severe. Controlling that pain, according to the surgeon, is the most difficult challenge he faces during my recovery. It is very difficult because of the number of major incisions (4) and the amount of bone cut along with nerves.
Once again I mustn't dwell on it but pass my fear and anxiety on to God and move on...so that is what I am doing.