Obviously I have not broken out of my latest aversion to writing....Actually I think it is more like I find it too overwhelming to write or blog daily. Surely this is a symptom of my Black Dog (Depression) but I also think the fact that it has become physically painful to sit for any prolonged period to write also contributes to this whole mess in a really big way.
Tomorrow I see an Orthopedic Surgeon for a 2nd opinion but I am not optimistic that this has even a slim chance of producing a positive result. Folks...preferring death over life has become a very really and preferable alternative at some point of each and every day these last 30 days or so. I cannot begin to describe the horror of living with this pain, the fever and ill feeling and having NO HOPE that they will ever get to the bottom of it and find some treatment to provide relief. Finding a cause? Hopelessly impossible by my point of view. These are the Keystone Cops of Medicine and I somehow ended up with them.
Anyhow I am still here and would rather not write and bitch about feeling crappy every day but that is my reality at present.
I'll keep plugging along as best I can and hope that something will eventually break through on the medical,emotional and physical challenges that are kicking my ASS at this moment without let-up and with-out HOPE of improvement!
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