Monday, July 22, 2013
Standing On The Edge Of Forever....(On One Freakin' Leg, Of Course!)
Bitter!? Who Me? Na....REALLY, REALLY Freaking Sarcastic? Well YEA...and who wouldn't be after all the Shit I've been going through! I just don't feel like my life belongs to me any more and the moment I feel like things might be turning toward the Sun....The proverbial Poo Poo hits the ole fan once again.
I feel like the world champion in the wallowing in one''s own POO POO Contest for like the 6th consecutive year. (Did I mention that I might be feeling just a slight bit of sarcasm this evening?)
The truth of the matter is I am really nervous this evening. As I wrote a little while ago...I got a second opinion and that Doc basically discovered major problem where the Tibia (Shin Bone) meets the Talus (Joint that sits on the Ankle Bone) and told me I have to have a major Ankle Fusion Surgery. He also did an MRI that should verify the infection that is making me so ill.
That is all fine and dandy with me...My fear is that I have an appointment tomorrow morning and I dread showing up and being told that the original diagnosis is wrong and we have to start all over again. That has been the pattern the last 4 months. I am so snake-bitten by this experience that it has tested my FAITH to it's absolute LIMIT and unfortunately there are times my Faith has been found wanting....
So tonight I honestly have no alternative but to turn to God and ask for his help...I am nothing without HIM. Today that is obvious to me but there was a time....not long ago that the statement I just wrote would have absolutely made me nauseous. I thought it was Hocus-Pocus ...smoke and mirrors stuff.
I know better now.