Of the vast and varied array of topics that I have written about here on Shell Shock, there is one that I have always religiously avoided. I'm not really sure why....was it shyness? Fear that people may take what I have to say the wrong way and misunderstand where I am coming from? Perhaps...deep down I was embarrassed or sadly, even a bit afraid that I would be judged what I considered the worst thing for a human being to be: A SHEEP. In other words...someone who couldn't think and feel for themselves, who found safety in joining into groups or cliques with others.
Unfortunately that was my opinion of what most Christians really were: Judgmental Sheep.
That is right, the subject I have never really tackled here on the blog is my conversion to Christianity and my status as a proud Follower of Jesus Christ. I think it is natural for me to be a bit reluctant to discuss it because I truly don't judge others and I do not tell other people how they should act, believe or behave. But my life changed drastically for the better and I am not ashamed of that....on the contrary, I think it's important for other people who may be lonely or at the end of their rope, feeling forgotten, abandoned and hopeless to know that there is HOPE. And I found that hope in my relationship with GOD.
What really motivated this post tonight was a Facebook Status I found on the NOT A Fan FB Page. Not A Fan is a 6 part mini-series based on Luke: 9-23 "Anyone who would come after me, must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.’"(Luke 9:23).
This video series was the catalyst for my becoming a Christian. I watched this over a 2 day period in January of 2010 and afterward it was obvious to me that something inside of me had drastically changed and I wanted more then anything to FOLLOW Christ....so I collapsed to my knees and asked HIM into my life. I knew I was a sinner, a HOPELESS, addict/alcoholic who had been sober at that time for 4 years but i knew I needed more to continue.
It is funny now but I openly HATED GOD/Jesus, mocking Him and His Followers every chance I could get. And now, just like that I was one of them. It is still very difficult for me to explain what it was that appealed to me so that is why when I saw the FaceBook Post tonight I knew I had to write this. It does a pretty good job explaining what I found in becoming a Follower of Jesus.
Here it is:
Jesus said, ‘Anyone who would come after me, must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me.’ (Luke 9:23) ‘Anyone’ is a pretty inclusive word. Anyone can follow Jesus. Anyone who ever thought to themselves, ‘I’ve gone too far...my stains are too big...’. Anyone who has ever lain awake at night and said ‘I can’t believe what I have done’. Anyone who has ever looked in the mirror and said to themselves, ‘I can’t believe what I have become.’ Anyone can follow.
"Anyone can FOLLOW....Anyone is a pretty inclusive word" Anyone....Even ME! It was that realization, that even I was not too BAD or Evil or Selfish or DRUNK or Stoned, etc to Follow my Creator. He Loved Me even when I didn't love myself. And that my friends just blew my mind....it still does to this very day. But it is True. This was the real deal I realized: TRUTH...THE Answer of Answers and my experience since then has proven this out.
Is my life always wonderful these days? Readers here on SSS know that it is NOT. As a matter of fact I am currently experiencing the most difficult sustained period of tough times I have ever lived through in my 51 years on this planet. Yet that special something is still there and though I can't say I understand it....life is more worth living today then ever before. It is that simple TRUTH that sustains me...tough day after tough, painful day.
So that, my friends is briefly the story of how I went from an angry, Christian Hater to a Follower of Jesus Christ. What is cool about that is there are millions of stories just like it where unbelievers....Believe.
This was not an easy conversion for me...I was convinced for many years that I was right and Christians had it all very wrong. And there was some truth to that. There were many Hippocrates out there, as well as people taking advantage of the sick and the aged and the poor. Using God and his Word to make themselves rich and famous.
But there were many I have discovered, who walk the walk, they love their neighbors as they would themselves. Feel free to private message me if you have questions or doubts...I'd be happy to share my story.