Monday, September 2, 2013
The SILENT SCREAM
I do realize that my latest run of medical misfortune has basically hijacked Shell Shock Serenade. I never intended to be writing about my health every time I post. But that is my reality and there is NO doubt that writing constructively about my pain, the feelings that go along with it and my spiritual condition as a result of this adventure is absolutely healthy and helpful.
But I still feel bad having the subject of every post be about my freaking feet or an infection of the bone....
The latest twist in the mystery of the Infection From Hell is the emotional toll it has taken on me. Calling it mere Depression or my usual "BLACK DOG" doesn't do it justice though I am in no way trying to minimize the effect of Depression.
I seem completely caught in a web of despair that has me convinced that I will never walk again. And I just cannot shake this feeling of impending DOOM that pervades every aspect of my daily life. No matter how much I appeal to God to save me from this misery or just put me out of it.
I am stuck here unable to feel anything positive about the present or the future.....and then that all morphs into one permanent blast of searing, tormenting PAIN and though I scream....not a SOUND comes forth to be heard. A silent SCREAM for redemption, for pity, for my SANITY to be returned...So I waited...and still I waited...only to be met, in the end by the DEAFENING...Sound of SILENCE.
Photo Graphic from Pink Floyd's: The WALL