Hey SPARKY...I Was A LIAR Too!

Surprise, surprise.....I created a wee-bit 'o controversy with my post last night. Though I wasn't trying to be controversial or provoke anyone I knew that I was throwing Flame-Thrower Darts when challenged some peoples motivation for saying or acting the way they do when it comes to their spiritual beliefs. Bottom line: when you imply that someone is a PHONY you more then likely will piss them off!

I got several anonymous vulgar comments about this and since I won't print anonymous feedback they won't get posted. But it seems they missed the part where I am including myself when I am talking about phonies mainly because in my previous life of active addiction I was one....not to mention a self indulgent, self-centered liar whose main focus in life was getting mine and the hell with everyone else.

I understand that when a person, such as myself makes a major change in their life (like going into a life of recovery from alcoholism/addiction) it takes an all-out effort and a COMPLETE & TOTAL change of how one lives their life. Some would call that behavior drastic and pretty radical....to be frank, I do NOT disagree. I was DYING right before everyone's eyes and if I didn't change EVERYTHING about the way I lived and conducted myself...I would have been dead in a very short period of time.

What this means is I have to live my life based on certain principals of giving and selflessness. I have to give of myself by helping others to keep what I have today: namely my sobriety. I don't know if that kind of life works for every recovering person...I do know that it works for me and many others I know personally.

Hence my lack of tolerance for those who pretend to care...to help and then don't do it. I do not understand why anyone would bother to pretend when it's perfectly fine in our society today to be a TAKER. I could care less what you do...just do not lie to me or others who may trust and then God forbid might come to count on you when the chips are down.

That is truly the root of my intolerance problem right there. I have come to know over the past 7-plus years so many incredibly loving, cheerful, giving people who are honest, sincere and would give the shirt off their backs if not their life to help others. So many good folks in fact that it ruins it for the rest of you poser's out there, haha. Seriously...I have simply come to expect people to act that way and for a person to pretend otherwise seems ridiculous at best dangerous and unethical at worst. 

Where I come from...working and living with addict/alcoholics...people DIE every day. For example...if the only way in June of 2006 I could get sober and kick drugs was to go to church and be a Christian...I would have chosen DEATH (and in fact I actually did). I simply could not deal with that because I had no trust for church goers or Christians. The truth here is very simple, i was so biased, angry, mistrustful and sick that I would have chosen to die before I would go to church! Pretty twisted and sick, eh!??

So honesty and integrity matter because addicts trust no one...so you better be who you say you are if you going to talk to them about recovery. PERIOD...no middle ground, no place to hide..or someones life could depend on it.