CRUCIFY

Periodically I will post about music that has been influential or significant to me at one point or another in time. I'm sure this is not the first time Tori Amos has been the subject here on Shell Shock Serenade but it doesn't surprise me because I could and in many ways still do strongly relate to her music. 

She is a classically trained pianist and ultimately that has always fueled my passion for her music...I adore the sound of a Grand Piano in the hands of a Genius...and I certainly consider her that.

This particular song will turn off pretty much all of my church going friends because the subject matter and language is pretty hard-core. But if you truly felt that way at one time in your life as I did for years...it was such a relief to discover that there was at least one other person on this freaking planet who felt as I did.

I won't explain her intentions behind writing this piece because I honestly do not know what they were. I also won make excuses or try and down play how difficult my life was at the time i could so readily relate. And I'll be honest here...there were several periods over the last 2 decades where I really, truly felt this way so it was not a passing fad or fancy...it was my reality for many years.

Crucify - Tori Amos

Every finger in the room was pointing at me, I wanna spit
In their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach, I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands drive another nail in

Just what God needs one more victim

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Everyday I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself

Everyday I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said, "My heart is sick of being in
Chains, chains"

Got a kick for a dog begging for love
I gotta I have my suffering so that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter, he says, "Will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird"

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start my own religion

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Every day I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself

Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said, "My heart is sick of being in
Chains, chains"

Please save me, I cry

Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands, drive another nail in
Where're those Angels when you need them?

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Every day I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself

Every day I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said, "My heart is sick of being in
Chains, chains"

Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?
Why do we crucify ourselves?

Every day