Monday, December 2, 2013
When Hope Disappears (Rewrite)
Ever gotten to a point in your life where things conspired against you to the point where you couldn't even conjure up the basic notion of hope? Which ever way you turned you were met with a bricked in doorway and no obvious way out? I certainly have.
Those days in reality were not that long ago yet they almost seem to never have existed at all. I never lack for hope even though the recent past has been fairly grim around here with a very serious fluke injury, a terrible case of infection and several months of playing the "In or Out Of The Hospital Game" followed up by "The Doctors Don't Have a F**king Clue Game" and topped off with the "Let's Do Surgery For The Hell Of It Game!"
I absolutely expected to feel hopeless after all that Mickey Mousing around I did but somehow I just didn't fully feel that way. I was frustrated for sure and I'll admit that I questioned God's motives for letting me go from finally doing well in life physically and financially after getting sober to having my whole physical and financial world collapse down on me. Why was HE hurting me? Had HE abandoned me? Was I one of those Moron's who let themselves be duped into believing that God would take care of me.
That was the most frightening time of this whole ordeal...when I began to revert back to my old, mistrustful way of thinking and instead of pushing forward with Faith, instead I started to look for someone to blame for MY problems, difficulty and indiscretions! Ultimately faith prevailed and I held on to the One thing that could save me...a belief that no matter what God wouldn't abandon me, NO MATTER WHAT!
There was no one to blame...life just is HARD sometimes and that is that. I know it is somewhat easier to say when the scratching and clawing one's way out of the deep, dark & hellish hole you were in has passed and things have stabilized a bit. But trust me...I haven't and will never forget how troubling and difficult that was.
At times I wish life was one cool activity after another with no heartache and pain involved at all but it is NOT ever going to be that way. One must learn how to cope and persevere. I often wonder if future generations of Americans are truly prepared for life and it's hard ways. We seem to have spurned a generation....perhaps two generations of WHINERS.
Yep, I called it first: the WHINER Generation where one hits a bit of adversity and their only plan of action seems to be to sit around a lament how unfair life is ...until Mummy/Daddy bail them out again with the checkbook, the doctor loads em up with Anti-Depressants & Xanax or they just spend the rest of their days in and out of therapy blaming others for their problems.
Ach...I dread the whole idea of that but unfortunately I have witnessed enough of it to know it's not a bad dream...that the behavior...er, culture really , already exists in our society. I don't know how but I still hold on to the notion of toughing it out when the proverbial sh*t hits the fan!
Perhaps I am being too harsh on our society today but it is difficult not to witness that behavior each and every day.....so NAW, I'm not being harsh, just realistic.
Look at the TV commercials we are bombarded with each day for an example: Do you have a headache (perhaps it's just because you skipped lunch), quick, take a pill. Are you having trouble making love to your wife, is it hurting your marriage? Quick, take a pill, then go buy his and her bath tubs and you'll have the best freaking sex of your life...Marriage saved, thanks to a wee, little pill (that costs a fortune). Can't get a job in a tough economy? Go hire an attorney who almost guarantees he will get you on the Social Security Disability. You'll never have to work again and live happily ever after...unless you actually have a conscience!
This is how we live today in America...our expectations are all messed up. So it makes sense that when life get's ugly and hard....people panic, get depressed...turn to booze and drugs for succor.
It's tragic really because the answer.....GOD has been here all along. No one promised that life would be easy...so why should it be? Hey...you can rely on science and TV for the cures to all that ails you...and see if that brings you happiness...I'll stay the course and trust HIM!