Monday, October 15, 2012
A Purpose, A Purity & Honest Clarity...
It is a cold, windy and wet blustering morning here in southern Michigan...It has a strange look and feel about it as these large wet leaves of red, yellow and brown/gold are blowing to and fro in the strong beam of the floodlight at the corner of the garage. It creates surreal mood and in a weird way feels like an early Halloween (at 4am)...of course that just makes it a rather typical beginning to another Autumn day in my beloved Michigan.
Of course I've been awake most of the night, suffering from terrible knife-like, stabbing and slashing pain in my toes and feet thanks to my neuropathy. Of course this provides the perfect backdrop for me to start thinking and pondering about all of life's latest setbacks. It "tis interesting that I never am up in the middle of the night thinking about all the WONDERFUL stuff going on....of course there hasn't been a whole lot of it lately but there is always something to be grateful for and I say that honestly. Life is good...
As challenging as my health, Kim's job/health insurance search, the financial struggles, turning 50 and living with constant, debilitating pain is...this sober, spirituality focused life I try to lead today is still SO MUCH BETTER then the alternative. And I'm not just blowing smoke there...it's absolutely true.
Today there is a purpose, a purity, and honest clarity to life that I have never known before. What that means in reality is that no matter what kind of Sh*t is going down in life, no matter how much adversity there is, I know in my heart that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing...Sure I'll question it but I no longer have that paralyzing FEAR & DOUBT that used to terrorize me in the past.
Now...It is as simple as listening to the silence in the wind and hear GOD literally speak directly to me. Though HE rarely ever tells me WHY this CRAP happens but he will always remind me to hang in there and that it will be OK. And that my friends is good enough for me today!
PHOTO: Kathy Tomson