There are moments in my life where I can feel it slip away from me....desire, sense of purpose...then the laughter leaves me at these moments and only the hollows remain...blind from staring far too long into the SUN. And I don't care and basically can't really feel anything anyhow. I am not sure why I go through these sudden changes...I embrace the nothingness that remains and it sustains me.
I simply do not like to live this life at times, it is nothing but a burden on my soul....I just really feel that way and it is what it is. Please dear reader, do not misunderstand me...this is NOT a death wish or some suicidal notion or wish list...NO, I just don't care for the idea of existing just to exist and there are times...far to frequently for my liking where I feel I am doing JUST THAT, existing, that is all.
It must change...OR ELSE
This anger outlet called Shell Shock Serenade exists for a reason and that reason simply is to keep this guy from emotionally exploding or Imploding all over the freaking place and to keep the "new me" intact.
Communicating to others is critical...it helps me to communicate to self, to know what is going on with me so there are no NASTY surprises, I can step out of myself and see where I am and where I am headed.
Make sense to you my friend? No....well that's OK....as long as it works for me we'll all be good.
Haven't been over here for a while, so I think I just read about ten posts all at once. I've been struggling inside my head again, but haven't been writing much at all. What you have written here is pretty darn close to the words that were in my head but that I didn't write. Thanks for sharing that.
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