Turn To Black...For COMFORT.

Well now...I almost feel normal again (not really but close enough for me!) and that is without getting much if any more sleep then I have been getting....basically ZERO.

One of the philosophical changes I've made over the years as I began to learn how to live a life in recovery, was to accept and even embrace my current situation to the very best of my ability. It goes without saying that it has been nearly impossible to do that under these recent trying and even over-whelming circumstances but here I am somewhat semi- intact if not totally together again.

College football season is one of the "Prime Indicators" that "MY SEASON" of the year (Autumn) has arrived and somehow even severe sleep deprivation, continuous daily nightmares, constant fever, headache, diarrhea and the usual worries related to K's new career prospects haven't been able to extinguish my somewhat exhausted & jaded JOY at the prospect of Mother Nature's yearly rejuvenation called Autumn. 

As Maya Angelou wrote in that Fav of Fav's of mine, "Late October":

Carefully
the leaves of autumn
sprinkle down the tinny
sound of little dyings
and skies sated
of ruddy sunsets
of roseate dawns
roil ceaselessly in
cobweb greys and turn
to black
for comfort.


Only lovers
see the fall
a signal end to endings
a gruffish gesture alerting
those who will not be alarmed
that we begin to stop
in order simply
to begin
again.

I never tire of Angelou's magical expression of the meaning of Fall and I suspect that I never ever will. It has held me in it's woven spell of unspoken understanding ever since I first read it. I even had it printed on the back of the wedding program when I married M on that 5th of October nearly 20 years ago. The simple fact that I still love the work in spite of that fact is a good indicator of the impact of this poem.

So I feel pretty good getting back in the "Writer's Drivers Seat" by referencing something so near and dear to my heart.

I hope all who are reading this today are well and enjoying a nice long weekend (at least those in America). I hope this post itself is a good indicator that I've broken the spell and can start to write/post regularly again.... YIPPEE!

PHOTO: KT