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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A Man In A Mirror....

I can be a difficult person to spend time with, I realize that. I'm opinionated and certainly not shy about expressing that opinion either. For someone who is somewhat of an introvert, I can be rather assertive when expressing a thought, feeling or opinion that I feel strongly about. This turns people off and I can understand that. It is something, one of many things that I am working to improve in my life today.

I really would like to be a better listener as well but I can't shut my own mouth off long enough to give some else a chance to speak...One Day At a Time I will work on listening, not expressing my own thoughts, feelings and opinions. Easier said then done but I've learned through experience that in can be done so I'm going to give it a shot. (Funny thing but one of the reasons that I blog is to "spit these opinions out" in one place so I can focus more in face to face communication on listening...)

Self reflection does not come easily to me and I also have to be a bit careful when looking at my character defects and behaviors I'm not OK with. Why? Because I came from a place in my life, not all that long ago where I hated everything about myself. And I mean that literally: Hated Myself. To the point where it was self abusive and suicidal. So I have to always keep things in perspective, to maintain some balance between the positive and negative. It's a fine line for me and that's OK, today I at least know where the line actually is and that helps me not cross it in moments of guilt or anger.

Staying sober also helps a great deal in this regard, LOL!! Who likes much about themselves when they are drunk and high all the time. Or sick and trying to get drunk or high? Not a happy life, I assure you.

Starting off my day with such self reflection can seem a bit of a "heavy" way to start one's day, I'll admit it. But I've found that it is best FOR ME if I list the defects that I would like to work on each morning it becomes easier for me to stay aware of them through out the day..Whatever works, eh?!

So I begin yet another day on the planet.....

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