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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Sound the Trumpet!

Now I realize I'm going to tread on sacred ground here a bit and share a family secret. Why? I really haven't a clue..."perhaps it might make an entertaining blog post", I thought.

My family likes to Fart....I'm mean REALLY likes it. I haven't the slightest idea where the knack for it came from. My father's Mum seemed too dignified a lady to crack one, even after her nightly 2 glasses of Bourbon. It's possible but I never witnessed it. Now her husband, my middle namesake, Olin Davis surely could have been a one of the original culprits but he passed away when I was 8 and again I just don't remeber.

My Mum and her side of the family were certainly NOT to be caught dead "breakin' The 'Ole Wind" anywhere it could have been seen or heard by anyone else. A rather stoic, yea even uptight bunch they were and still are. That set of grandparents passed years before I was even born so I don't even have the judgement of my own perceptions to go on here. based on my Mother's siblings I would say, way. A Fart Free Family for sure. Well...

I guess I should clarify what I'm referring to when I talk about farting here. Naturally all humans pass gas...shoot, we have to or we would explode or at least feel terribly uncomfortable!). I'm not talking about those little necassary "tooters" that slip out because we need relief. NOOOO, I'm talking about Farting For Fun or the 3F's! Yea, Flatulation purely for the entertainment of one's self, family and friends (or whoever else may be within blasting distance). My family farts for the pure enjoyment of it and has a passion for passing (pardon the pun) on passing the gas to others. We have taken it to another level.

I know there are situations like a group of guys hanging out at the cabin up north during deer season. The beer is flowing and soon after, someone turns on the to speak. I'm not even talking about that. This is wholesome, family time farting. Truly there is nothing more touching then a father, his son and the boy's grandfather falling out of their chairs w/laughter because they can't stop ripping them while the family sits together on a Saturday night playing dominoes. Brings a tear to the eye, eh?

In my family, the leader of the Flatulence Pack is my Dad. I will never, ever forget the twinkle in his eye and the tiny hint of a smirk he gets when he's holding on to ONE for the opportune time....priceless. Gosh I love that guy...He has passed it on to me, it wasn't much of a stretch really, I was a eager student.

My son on the other hand seems to have a few issues of complexity when it came to letting them fly. I do believe deep down he likes it as much as the rest of it but he has a steady girlfriend and has to keep up the appearance of culture and class. Just kidding...the fart gene does seem to have skipped Ian, not sure how that happened, perhaps I'm just a lousy father...

It truly is an art, to call them up at will. To classify them by sound or smell. I'll save those specifics for another time.....

My poor Mother on other hand does not find much humor in our cherished pass time. Perhaps it really is a "Man thing" but I have to say I know a few woman who can crank 'em out as good as any man, any day of the week. You know who you are!!

Back to my Mum for a minute. I have to say that though she obviously doesn't like it when Dad and I are having a Toot-Around, or discussing flatulation at the dinner table, etc. She has come to accept that "Boys will be Boys" and tolerates us the best she can. We always get a few "eye rolls" and a"that's enough now!!" but basically she ignores us.

Honestly I cannot tell you why I chose that as a subject to write about this afternoon but there it is. I vowed when I started writing this little blog that I wouldn't "over think it" or "over produce it". Nope, I would just get an idea, run with it....clean up the grammar a bit, etc and publish it as is. I still abide by that rule today. As much as I'd like to save a draft and work on it 'til it's perfect....I can't do it. I want to keep the live vibe as much as possible so here we go....

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