Cranky....

Yea, so what! I got my Mr Cranky Pants attitude on today and I feel unrepentant, vibrant even, alive.....uh, er....no, not really alive. Or vibrant really...mainly just cranky and sort of unrepentant. Unrepentant takes energy, something I have very little of this cold Southern Michigan morning.

Basically I'm whining because I don't feel as well as I THINK I SHOULD and I'm ornery. That's ornery, not horny...horny takes energy which I'm already officially on record as saying I have very little of, none to spare actually...even for horny. Now that's being sick, I'd say.

Yep, that's it...I'm still sick, Pnumi's got me down and I THINK it should have run it's course by now and be over. I should feel better now....but I don't. So cranky has seeped into to my usually upbeat morning mood (Oh Yea, I'm one of those pesky "Morning People", annoying aren't we?!)and seriously impacted my day, Wah, Wah...

OK, I know better....what I THINK should be and what actually IS are often two different things and that conflict is something that historically I haven't handled very well. I'm trying to reconcile the two, trying to "Find the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and (most importantly,) the WISDOM to know the difference. (I couldn't resist throwing in the Serenity Prayer, that little sanity saving ditty that has rescued me from many crappy days...).

The last line of the S.P., has always been the troublemaker because I used to think I was GOD and I could do, control anything....(LOUD BUZZER OR AIR HORN SOUND HERE)...WRONG. Geez, that couldn't be further from the truth. I couldn't tie my freaking shoes at one point in my life w/out creating chaos.I had control of absolutely NOTHING.

As soon as I realized that and accepted it....things got a bit easier. Yet I still have my moments...like today when I want to "feel like I don't have Pneumonia when I actually do and could be in hospital right now so I actually should be thankful instead of bitchy!).

 But hey, I'm only human right? "Ya live and learn and this Mr Cranky Pants will drink plenty of fluids, take it easy (very hard for this spastic individual!) and take my Meds. Have a marvelous Monday...