Saturday, June 9, 2012
It's Gonna Happen
It has been a rather slow "news week" around my life lately leading to some rather mundane posts. On one hand that is a really good thing, it means there aren't really any major troubles, things are moving right along and life is pretty darn good.
On the other hand, it's not that great for readers...their lives are like this and they already know what it's like. It is always good when it is like this because it shows folks who are still hurting that things can really get and be better. And that is the most important lesson of all...HOPE. It can change...life doesn't always have to hurt.
I believed for a long time that life WAS pain. It was meant to hurt and since my reality was that it did hurt, that just made hurting normal. Sick? Yup, it sure was but that is the way it had been since I was a boy, a series of painful, life altering memories. How else is a boy supposed to process all of that?
One thing I have vowed never to do here on Shell Shock is to write stuff just to shock or keep the audience interested. The whole point is to BE REAL, represent A LIFE, all of it, the good, the bad, the exciting and not so exciting aspects of it. This audience I believe understands that but this approach doesn't help "build" an audience.
I think I am more likely to be bored by what I write then most of our readers, haha. There most certainly is an adrenaline junkie inside of this 50 year old body. I got off living on the edge, that I have never disputed and it was a huge stumbling block to my finding recovery and staying sober over a long period. But I am adjusted to this life for the most part and though I do have moments where I can crave the chaos, the danger, the EXCESS...it usually passes rather quickly. It is strange though because the emotion in me really builds and I can really start to feel squirrelly...but like I said, more often then not it passes right along.
I still think about that life...I see a lot of my old behavior in people here on the island all summer long, particularly on the weekends. Drunken excess is the NORM though I never will believe I ignored or neglected my children the way these so called parents do, letting them drive golf carts on busy roads at age 8 and 9. Same with jet skis...they let the toys amuse the kids so they don't have to watch them...I'm not kidding, these children are unsupervised on their own, all day long driving golf carts on all sorts of busy roads.
I have a feeling that some day something really, really bad is going to happen. I watched a kid die when I was 12 out on the road just down from our cottage here. He carelessly road a mini-bike out of the woods into a moving car. I'm not trying to be morbid but it is going to happen again...my guess is it will be an inexperienced little kid who is going to get it and then everyone will talk about what a freaking tragedy it is instead of throwing the idiotic parents in jail for neglectful homicide.
OK, I am officially off my soap box and headed out either to walk, swim, go for a boat-ride or something else involving riding around in a large circle on a realy nice large, manicured lawn. Later....