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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Stay The Course....

Well it is nearly 100 degrees, fairly humid and we are still deal with what seems to be more then "our" fair share Adversity in the health, employment and "life in general" department. Basically the old saying goes...sometime you kick butt...other times it is your turn to get your but kicked...both Kim and I have freaking blisters and bruises galore on our particular Gluteus maximus, if you know what I mean. It's been butt whippin' time on the ranch around here for like the last four freaking years...isn't it someone else's turn?!

I know...whine, whine, whine...still, it seems a bit excessive. We really could use some positive news in our lives because I can feel my inner Dr Jekyll...turning into Mr Hyde. What I mean is when I get faced with major adversity I tend to switch into full on aggression mode, basically I get pissed and less then nice when confronted with such situations. It is a trait that has really helped me during some very bad and extreme situations in my life but 'tis not a good everyday way to feel, be or act.

So I guess what I am saying is that even after all these years sober, working in recovery I can still struggle (probably like everyone else) when stuff doesn't go my way. I am still working my way through how to deal with adversity and it often feels like I'm failing the class. 

I know...that is where Faith comes in and it is true. Unlike many, I do not see Faith as this unknowing trust that God makes things better. Why? Because GOD NEVER promises that things will be better...ever. What he does say is he won't forget me when the sh*t hits the fan and looking back on my life that has proven true. 

Things often didn't go my way but he was always there guiding me all along. Perhaps I needed to work through some adversity...Who knows?! I don't pretend to know the ways of God..I just do my best to FOLLOW. 

And the fact that I am still here is a testament to that trust and faith. I've tried the path of SELF...satisfying my needs first and foremost and usually that not only didn't solve my issue but it caused Chaos in the process. No I think I'll stay the course...

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