I feel like an emotional Pretzel at times, twisted this a way and that way...always knowing that I should at the very least expect the unexpected. That usually keeps me on my toes which is the way i should be anyway.
I cannot afford to be complacent...nor can Kimmi. I used to live for the moment...it was one day at a time but in it's most UNHEALTHY interpretation of that philosophy, I just didn't car about what came next as long as my "needs" (for dope, for $, for sex and any other selfish desire) were met when I wanted them met. Then I just live HARD and for the moment only.
I really don't think I could even begin to live that way now but you never know...just add booze & dope, stir real well and GOD only knows I am capable of. It really does just take over everything in my life so hey, I'm gonna close with the wonderful feeling of gratitude that I am NOT having to feel the distinct sick feeling of living that way again....
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