Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Since there are always new readers coming and going here at Shell Shock Serenade, it would probably benefit some folks if I gave a bit of an explanation about the reincarnation stuff I've been writing about lately....
I have somewhat believed in reincarnation most of my life based on some pretty incredible and hard to explain happenings as a young boy. Vivid dreams about things I was much to young to know about or understand, yet I did. An uncanny familiarity to places that I had never been to before...particularly on Great War Battlefields in France/Belgium and in Manchester, England. I still posses an uncanny ability to lead expert battlefield guides at places like Ypres and The Somme to secret tunnels and other unique places...this has astounded several experts.
My parents had me evaluated for severe nightmares when I was 5 years old...I was dreaming about drowning in deep mud and holes filled w/water (later realizing they were shell holes), rats feeding on corpses and running all over me while I slept, being buried alive, huge explosions (shell-fire) and gunfire. The shrink one day began showing me pictures of Great War Battlefields in a library book and I began to cry because I was recognizing that my dreams were taking place on similar battlefields. Again I recognized names, dates and places that a veryyoung, particularly American boy would have NO knowledge of since these were British Battlefields and adult subject matter. Again, remember that I was just 5-6 years old at this time.
Long story short, there were several potential explanations for this kind of thing...a vivid imagination, coincidence and an over-active sub-conscience and of course reinve carnation. I started to lean in that direction as I became a teenager, I went through more extensive therapy as a teenager of High School age as the dreams intensified. I never totally embraced reincarnation just like I never embraced Christianity before and probably for the same reason...I was very skeptical.
Well I sobered up in 2006 and these dreams that had faded a bit over the years came back stronger then ever before creating much confusion for me. This thing was not cool or neat...no it was a curse! When I became a Christian I started extensive discussions with my Pastor Shayne and he basically told me to relax and don't worry about it so much....to turn it over to God. He did say there isn't a Biblical basis for believing in reincarnation which I of course already knew. He suggested that I spend some time in prayer and meditation, as I always do when something is weighing heavily on me. I found this helps put things in perspective and softens up any stressful feelings I may have been working up.
That has helped me feel better about the situation and not feel so much like a crack-pot. But I am impatient and want resolution NOW so I can push it at times. That is the reason I am writing about it now...I want it to go away.
So that is a bit of the back story on the reincarnation thing. I am not a full blown believer...I really wish it had never happened because I just want to be a normal guy and this stuff is FAR from NORMAL...trust me. So that's my story.