One of the funny or quite frankly, strange dilemma's a person like me (who is VERY open about his addiction, recovery and sexual assault experiences) faces is that people can say some very nice, complimentary things about you for being open and honest about the troubling issues from your past.
I've always found it somewhat uncomfortable because I think that people are being too kind and I don't deserve it....because let's face it, I am only doing now what I should have been doing all my life: being open & honest, helping other people who are in trouble or who are hurting and giving the credit to God who deserves ALL of it as far as I am concerned.
I received a wonderful message on my FaceBook page this morning from a friend and fellow member of my church who I really respect. And I couldn't help thinking that I do not deserve to have such nice things said about me. I was a real unfriendly and selfish person back in the day and that is putting it nicely to say the least!
The real truth of the matter here is that I did nothing to change my ways and in fact, if I had had my way back then...I would have died in late May of 2006...a victim of suicide. That was what I really wanted to happen. The only reason that it didn't, in my humble opinion is because the Good Lord intervened and saw a purpose in saving me.
That is why I feel so passionately that I am NOT responsible for my recovery and it is also why I feel so committed to helping others and giving ALL the Credit to my Creator..Because without HIM...well, I am DEAD over 6 years. It is that simple friends....
(PHOTO: K Tomson)
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