What is a good life? Is it just being content? Is it being financially successful or moving upward in your career. What constitutes success in living...is it the kind of person that you are? I think for many years I really had no idea what I was living for other then to survive from one day to the next and to make myself feel good in any number of ways...mostly with drug and alcohol abuse and very negative results in the long-run.
I have had financial success, I have had cars and houses and travel and toys and pretty much did what I want...only to find myself miserable, at the end of my rope wanting to end my own life. And as I've written about here many time I tried to do just that...kill myself. That attempt was also a failure. I had no choice but to find a way to live...and that is where I began to discover a new way of living.
I know today from that experience that the true reason for living lies within one's self and is not found in wealth, sex, drugs or any other form of self-motivated pleasure. For me it was found through a relationship with my Creator: for me that is God. I say that with much certainty today because I have pretty much experimented with all the alternatives to God and I only found misery and heartbreak.
It wasn't until I found recovery from addiction that I discovered the answer to MY problems was going to be found in a spiritual life lived in service to others and NOT myself. Some folks think I'm a KOOK for feeling this way...That's fine, so be it...I invite those people to walk a couple miles in my drug-addicted moccasins one day before they start throwing judgments around.
In other words if you had lived my life, with all it's heartache and pain, sorrow and horror...I suspect you would come to the same conclusions as well. My regret is that I did have to suffer and more importantly cause those who loved me to suffer as well before I finally found peace in my Creator.The truth is...He was there for me the whole time if I had just opened my eyes and heart to HIM.
The cool thing is that HE is there for anyone who wants to invite him into their own lives as well. I understand that it is a difficult thing for some people to accept God, it is easy (and mistaken) to confuse a relationship with God to religion, they are not the same thing...Even so, I originally rejected the whole notion myself and it took a nearly successful suicide attempt before I finally surrendered to Him.
But I don't look back with regret...it accomplishes nothing...I am just grateful that I have the life I do today.
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