That Magical Time

I confess, I'm not at all stoked about the holidays in general. We do have some family coming and I am looking forward to seeing them but neither of my kids will be around so from my (selfish) perspective it's a bit of a bummer. But they are healthy and happy so I feel quite good about that.

But early Xmas morning isn't the same when my kids (and their kids) are not around. But to be honest, the magical feeling of holidays and birthdays in general left me long ago and actually I don't miss it. I kind of resent being forced to give gifts not because I'm cheap but I'd rather give them spontaneously, when I choose to give them. I was always pretty good about just giving a gift when I felt moved to do so. I still like doing it that way....

When I was a boy there was definately some powerful, amazing spirit in the air at this time of year. We did lots of cool things back then. We lived in a suburb of Columbus Ohio, Worthington. It was a nice neighborhood and several families on our street always got together during the holidays. The adults had their cocktail party and the children ran amok doing our own thing, snooping at our gifts and throwing snowballs at the city bus. It felt like a unique  and special time and looking back...it still does.

All of the neighborhoods in the City of Worthington did luminaria on Christmas Eve. Every household (and almost all houses participated, that certainly wouldn't happen today) put paper bags full of sand w/lit candles in them along the curb. They were about 6 feet a part and we lit them at dusk...oh my, what an incredible sight that was. The big thing was to get in the car and drive through the various neighborhoods (I think there were 4 but my 'Lil Sis will correct me if I'm wrong) with just the parking lights on. As far along the streets as you could see the lights would stretch until out of sight.

Then we would have lots of food, the house would be all decorated with lights and the fire would be going. Then my parents would take my sister and I to bed. I remember feeling like my heart would explode out of my chest, I was just so excited...Then the next morning Santa had left toys out for us to play with while my parents slept in a bit (until 6 or 7am or so!!). It truly was magical...

Obviously those days are gone but the memories are still so vibrant and real. These days we get up, enjoy coffee and some peaceful time with all the decorations lit up. We still have candles though they are in the house in candle sticks now. We open gifts, have a nice breakfast then the big deal of the day at home is dinner.

But then I started doing something a little different on Christmas morning. After breakfast I head into town. I meet up with a rather large group of people in recovery and we spend some time together. And you know what...I start to feel that magic again! It's always such a treat to see a guy or gal, who is new to sobriety at those Christmas morning get togethers. They seem stunned that they are actually there, sober and kinda having fun. I remember feeling that way myself when I was newly sober and it was so cool.

I guess I'll always feel the spirit of Christmas the most when I'm feeling grateful for the life (sobriety) I have and sharing a little time with my friends in recovery. The best friends I've ever had and the best time of my life (so far)....