Thursday, January 26, 2012
FORSAKEN, Forgotten Fried Remnant of a HUMAN BEING
OK and HEY...before I even start this puppy I'm going to apologize...basically because I am pissed, annoyed and sure to provoke or offend....probably (D) All of the ABOVE....
Yes I am still living the zombie style life of the sleep deprived half-human I have morphed into and there seems to be no answer anywhere in sight, on the horizon or in the freaking UNIVERSE for that matter. I am STUCK with this crappy, sleepless existence and I can only wonder what type of spiritual FRANKENSTEIN type experiment GOD has going with me....
Truly and honestly I am a WILLING servant...I will FOLLOW and am glad to serve. But I have to say I am feeling ABUSED. And I am a person who NEVER throws that particular word around frivolously....EVER, for any reason at all!
Forsaken...er, YEA! Just a bit, don't you think....wouldn't you?!
OH Wait, that's right...you readers don't know the rest of the story. Like my doc cancelled my FRIDAY morning appointment...AGAIN! I think the cosmic powers of evil have conspired to prevent me from EVER seeing another doctor again...no I'll just die here on the VINE, don't mind me.
Found out this afternoon as well that the furnace is HISTORY and must be replaced. Let's just say because some individuals are not facing FACTS or being realistic I am going to be home SICK as I am, With no HEAT for the entire weekend...possibly until mid next WEEK!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
So HIGH Fever, screwed up bladder, HIGH BP, morbid...scary thoughts of me own doom and demise....Terrible, vicious pain in my lower back, left hip...have not slept more then 2 total hours in a day for nearly 7 weeks. My entire body ITCHES, I could tear all my skin off and I do not think I'd find relief.
I am calling out LORD, I'm on my last legs...knees in reality and I got nowhere else to go...I've been asking...pleading...BEGGING for mercy YET only SILENCE...the SOUND of despair.
Do you have a clue, perhaps? Because I do not have the slightest...foggiest ...hair of an idea what I am supposed to do here. Enduring for the sake of just hanging on is losing it's allure and I am weakening...I am caving in to the pressure. HELP ME