It has taken me the better part of my current lifetime to realize that it's all really just an illusion...we truly are living on borrowed time. My body...borrowed and thank goodness too 'cause she's about worn right out, haha! Yea, Yea...I realize I had a lot to do with that because of the lifestyle I chose to follow (er, perhaps it actually CHOSE me...the alcoholism I mean....).
I went to the DOC (Doctor) today and there was some significant snow coming down as I made my way into town but of course it never really amounted to much when it was all over...just more "Storm Team-Weather Event" hype by the local TV News Stations. But early on the snow was heavy and roads were bad so I ran to the store for my mom before I went to my appointment so she wouldn't have to venture out.
As I was wandering around the home of wayward carnival workers (WALMART)...I couldn't help but feel that I was attending some sort of cosmic Yard Sale for the DAMNED. So sorry Walmart...I have always just had creepy feelings about your stores...I imagine in the realm of the "big picture" that you probably couldn't care less that I feel this way because I
still show up and give you my money, so what difference does it make, eh!? .
So tonight, as I sit and ponder this nonsense, I can't help but think that perhaps I shouldn't be thinking about it at all because doing so is just to dang risky right now! What if I literally overload my exhausted Brain and it just implodes...or shuts down completely. I am treading on some virgin soil here never having been this exhausted and mentally depleted before. And that IS the way I feel: MENTALLY...that is emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritual DEPLETED, wrung out, played out, used up...DRY, the well is dry.
Who knows truly, what the answer really is for me this evening? So I must then conclude that there is NO answer tonight...certainly no EASY WAY OUT. Accepting that as I must in my half-lidded, semi-conscious state of exhaustion I bid each and every read adieu...a friendly farewell until next time.