I am resigned To HEAL this Time...

By Kathy Tomson

I am going to do my utmost today to rest. I know, I know...we have all heard this before but this time I really mean it! This is such classic statement  that you typically would hear from someone trying to change a bad pattern of behavior. For me it would be my drinking in the past..."This time I really mean it, I'll quit. You'll see...this time it's different" and more often then not...nothing ever changed. So I get it...it will be a challenge to do what I'm supposed to do but I am so tired of feeling...TIRED, sick and so weakened that I can't function normally. It's true...I have always had a hard time following the instructions from a doctor or physical therapist...that explains why I've struggle to heal properly at times in the past. 


When I had knee surgery a couple years ago..I felt a ton of pressure from my employer to work though I was supposed to be off at least 6 weeks. I felt guilty about not being there so I was back working in the store in less then 3 weeks. This was at the very same time that my father was very ill with an infection from a burst appendix and in a hospital in Ft Wayne (an hour away) for 45 days. My knee didn't have a chance...So I basically am walking around on a right knee that is damaged almost beyond repair. It's just shredded inside and that is exactly what it feels like too. And it's always something like that too...I feel guilty and can't take the time for myself so I cut corners and it is my health that suffers.


This morning dawned bright...and I mean BRIGHT. We have blue skies and the sun is shining fiercely this morning. On top of that we have 5-6" of freshly fallen, light and fluffy powder...I usually hate that combination of snow and sun...it physically hurts my eyes but today for some reason I rather like it. I suppose it is because I've accepted my fate today...I'm staying in all day and I'm keeping my feet elevated with ice.


Purdue plays at Michigan State in Basketball at noon so that gives me a bit of incentive as well. Hope you, my dear reader have a wonderful day...we will check back some time after the game.