It is Sunday morning, dawn...crisp, cold clear and I feel pretty good all things considered...I made it through the night alright though once again with out any hint of sleep. It does help, I've discovered...when one can catch a lift on a STAR.
The key I have learned is the importance of having a focus. It's about keeping your eyes fixed firmly on a purpose, a goal or task at hand. Making it through consecutive nights...er...weeks now without sleep seems more "doable"....ah, "survivable"...if you have you eyes firmly fixed on a set purpose.
Clearly GOD must be a focus for me at all times because this is a dangerous place to be for a guy in recovery: no sleep, extreme fatigue, etc...it gets much easier to let down one's guard when you are exhausted...yep, even after more then 5 years of sobriety.
That being said having immediate, physical tasks or goals helps a great deal as well. That is the "star" I'm referring to in the title. So what I'm really saying there is that i am OK making through the night, alone, exhausted, punchy, fever, etc when I have a task at hand to focus on...a star as it were to hitch my wagon to.
Last night I hitched my wagon to the toilet/bathroom cleaning "star" and made it through the night nicely in one piece emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually.
Interestingly, I now have the cleanest bathroom and kitchen floors and bedroom on the freakin' planet to show for all this sleeplessness!
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