Friday, May 4, 2012
Eh....I Don't Know
Man, I can hardly believe I get to write this but I freaking slept like a total of 6 hours or so last night. That is like a GOOD WEEK for me typically. I could get used to that in a hurry....Really I could and in a big way, too! I have so much energy right now...I don't know what to do with myself.
Needless to say I'm feeling pretty good about that. Here on SSS I have often posted about my feelings and my moods. Considering this started out as a blog about a person in recovery from drug/alcohol addiction that makes sense because those things can really impact how a person feels about themselves.
I have mentioned my nickname for depression or just feeling depressed...I call it my Black Dog, which is a term I actually borrowed from Winston Churchill...who called his Depression (though he didn't know at the time it WAS Depression) that same name. And I have always found the name appropriate because much like a lonesome black Lab my Depression will follow me around.
The last couple of days I have noticed a relatively new set of feelings or a mood I have experienced a few times in the last month or so. A kind of melancholy I have never really felt before, subtle...hiding just under the surface but it's definitely there. It's NOT the Black Dog but similar and I don't know what to make of it.
I am heading into town here in a minute. Going to hang with some buds in recovery. I haven't done that much lately and they have gotten kinda worked up about it. They think I'm too religious now that I believe in God the way I do.
You know, sometimes it truly feels like you can never, EVER win, haha!