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Monday, May 14, 2012

One More Time...Indulge me Please...Thank You Jimi

Frequent readers to Shell Shock will know by the sheer volume of posts on this subject of relationships that it is really bothering me that there are damaged relationships in my life as a result of my behavior and to some extent the behavior of the other people themselves. And I can't seem to fix 'em...nope the power to change them is out of my hands and up to them.

I think some of this is that nearly 6 years have gone by since I got sober and was f**king up on a daily basis. And in my mind it should have been put to rest by now. But everyone is different and some folks just won't let go of things, or they really believe they have the right to judge others, as if they somehow are above them and in a position to do so.

There is so much mis-information out there because folks jump to conclusions without fulling understand the truth. I do not mind be held accountable for what I have done or left un-done, whatever the case may be...but I will not subject myself to ridiculous persecution and ridicule from someone who has no real knowledge about what truly has happened and is just jumping to conclusions. It bothers me as well that they have never even asked me about it...I used to let my guilt over my alcoholism lead me to letting people take advantage of me, walk all over me...once to the extent that I made a disastrous financial decision because I felt guilty about the past and thought I owed it to this person. I was an idiot for doing it and a  fool but not any more...hey, I've made my mistakes...if you haven't, then you cast the first stone my friend, you then have the right to do it.

OK...I am hoping that I am scraping the remaining residue of this sh*t out of me so I can get my focus back on helping others instead of feeling hurt about my past.It is time to rock on...

(Picture - Jimi Hendrix: Cry Of Love Album Cover)

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