Friday, March 9, 2012
LET GO, thormoo...Just Let GO!
I don't think it is any secret that when I first found recovery and was going through the process of rebuilding not only my physical life: Finances, Health, Living situation but my emotional and psychological self as well. The Spiritual life would follow just a wee bit later. But self-esteem and self confidence naturally takes a beating when a person's life does not go the way they expect it to. Especially when they have an EGO like I did...shoot I thought I was GOD, that I could get through anything.
Well...things did not work out that way...I was beaten down by the circumstances of my life which were a direct result of the decision's and choices I made. Admitting that was hard but since I had tried everything I knew to save the situation and failed...I had no choice in the end but to accept what I was: an alcoholic who was powerless over my life. I recognized then that I needed a Divine presence in my life to make a change. And though I did not immediately become a Christian...the process of finding GOD started right then and there. Actually I shouldn't say it started there because I believe I had been searching for GOD all my life. Let's just say I renewed the search much more seriously with the utmost urgency!
Typically I don't worry about things like my comfort level in situations, self esteem or self-confidence because my total trust and FAITH in the LORD usually takes care of those things by default. It is only when I try and wrench back control of my life that those things become issues again. Well I hate to admit it but that is kind of what has happened here lately...my emotions about certain issues in my life got the better of me and I was not letting GOD have control...I was once again attempting to run the show...
Well as soon as I take the wheel of the proverbial car of my life, things start to go awry...just like that...no kidding, it happened that quickly. As soon as I start to depend on the LORD to take over, to FOLLOW HIM with all my heart, mind and spirit...well I cannot totally explain it except to say the LORD RULES! And a funny thing begins to happen: My life changes for the better almost instantaneously.
(Photo: Kathy Tomson)