Sunday, March 25, 2012
Non Angst Sunday (Routine?)
Yes folks I am shallow enough AND enough of a golf fan to (somewhat) plan my day around Tiger Wood's playing in the final round of a golf tournament with a darn good chance to finally win for the first time on the PGA Tour in something like 2 years.
This may be difficult for some folks to understand but I judge the quality of my life and recovery on the fact that I have time and a place in my busy, easily disturbed/distracted mind for such frivolousness. In other words I'm not stressing or worrying about anything else and that is a fantastic sign. There is room in my life today for....FUN. For not having to take each day as a struggle to survive. That peace of mind has come after a long time of struggle, soul-searching and a make or break (read life or death) spiritual quest.
I know folks will not understand but I could never lighten up...sure when I was drinking, I didn't (seem) to have a care in the world but honestly, those worries...that stress was NEVER far away. It was always in the shadows, just around the corner...lurking in the dark corners of my mind...haunting me. I knew I was in trouble and I knew I couldn't out run it or make it go away.
Nobody did "trouble" as well as me,` with a big 'ole (fake) smile and a boisterous act that life was to be lived hard, until the last light goes dim...in my case and others...until I ultimately was dead.
So today, with it's morning drive to Hillsdale to keep a commitment to a friend and this afternoons planning around golf on TV...it shows that life indeed has settled into routine and a lark, both quite welcome really. So I'll enjoy the day and I most certainly hope you my friends do as well...