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Friday, March 9, 2012

Oh NO, NO, NO, NO! I have said many times in posts on this thoughts and feelings will usually run out of me on their own, when I write posts for is like the post will write itself. There are exceptions, of course when the words don't come quite as easily but in it's own way, the post still seems to have a life and mind of it's own. Today is a rare day when the words are not coming easily, like there is a large lump in my "writing" throat as it were and it is uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable not because there are no words coming but because in my heart I KNOW there most certainly ARE words there...but I cannot BEAR the thought of saying them. I found myself at a a very critical crossroads this morning which was SHOCKING because I had not realized I was on the road going in that particular direction. 

This post is going to seem terribly incomplete because I won't elaborate any further on what has happened inside of me until I'm at least a bit more sure that I understand it myself. My suspicion is that my life just took a very unexpected turn this morning and nothing is going to seem or be the same way it was for me and my immediate life, relationship with Kim or the near future.

As the event slowing sinks in, the smoke clears and I cannot honestly say at this moment whether I am happy, pleased and joyful at what is happening or completely and totally devastated. It's THAT open to possibility...

(Photo: Kathy Tomson)

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