The other day I posted about evaluating this blog and how I came to the conclusion that I did want to continue to post and that I still felt compelled to do it. I had wondered if I was now sharing too much personal information and quite honestly I wondered how relevant my original premise for Shell Shock Serenade still was. I had originally intended to capture what recovery was like in real time...day by day even minute to minute.
But the truth is that after nearly six years clean/sober there isn't always relevant (read: Interesting) stuff going on day to day. Then of course I started blogging about being raped as a boy...and this gave me more fodder for posts.
I really wonder whether my life in itself, without the recovery drama is interesting enough to sustain readership. Ironically I am getting more hits daily then ever before so it truly is a miracle.
I have noticed when I have blogged about the hard core details of my addiction, my suicide attempt or the sexual assault...well those are my most read blog posts. But I don't want to artificially inflate or exaggerate to make this more appealing. I am, at my heart level perfectly satisfied to share with whoever wants to read it and let it be what it is: a document of what a life is like when addiction, sexual assault and suicide are all a part of it.
I just want to represent those feelings, thoughts and reactions honestly and in a way that can be understood by other addicts, rape victims and suicide survivors as well as the general public. I am not angry, I don't have an ax to grind, I don't play the victim...no...I just want to live life to the best of my ability and serve God, my Creator. I am grateful to have survived and flourished once I found sobriety and a spiritual way of living that led me to God.
I don't have any intention of trying to shove my beliefs or way of living down anyone's throat...no, I really want to represent myself honestly and people can take it or leave it as they wish. I answer most if not all comments...I'm happy to do it. I answer all emails and will talk to anyone who truly has an interest in any of the relevant subjects I write about.
I am also a father, was a single father, I was married twice and am a grandpa. It is impossible to write about those other things in life with out including these facts as well. I probably write about relationships as much as any other subject now because I have learned how important relationships with others truly are...they are essential to human beings as we live life on this planet...whether we believe it or not, humans are at their core social creatures and we bond with one another if for no other reason then to just survive.
So that is what I am pondering at this time as I plan on continuing to write. I will most certainly post answers to any questions people may have an you can ask me anything. My email is:
So people...COME ON, throw me a bone and write...ask me anything, say anything you might dare as to provoke a response....I imagine I have a few stashed away some where.
Please feel free to contact me if you'd like me to cover some detail of my experience that you want to know more about whether it's about alcoholism, rape, suicide or just living 50 years on this planet...I'd love to have suggestions on what folks would like to read about. But even without I'l just keep throwing darts and see what comes out of that.
So there it is...