Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Continuing Thread...
This morning I was re-reading my post from yesterday:"Drastic Differences For Those Who Believe". And that subject of how a person's life can change so drastically and become something so unexpectedly different then one would ever expect, seemed to beg further exploration and explanation...I am more then happy to oblige.
I think a vast majority of people who are in recovery from drug/alcohol addiction would agree that one of the most difficult and unsettling aspects of getting clean/sober is to do it successfully a person essentially has to live an entirely different kind of life.
I simply could not carry on doing the same types of things I was doing and just not drink...that would not be living much of a life in my opinion.
In some ways changing my entire life around was one of the hardest things I had ever done but on the other hand, some aspects of it were much easier then I thought. I think that is because we assume that our "alcoholic selves" are the real person we are deep inside and I have discovered that more often then not it wasn't the case.
The reality of my life back then was my addiction forced me to do things that really violated my internal moral and ethical code...most of the time just to survive and get through each day, it was a miserable existence.
But after I found recovery and began to change and grow, I started finding myself in a position where I wasn't forced to do things I didn't believe in anymore. That was a huge change for me and I never want to go back to a lifestyle that by it's very nature drives me away from who I really am and my connection to God...my Creator.
I often have described that time of my life, from the early days where things weren't really bad right until the end when all I wanted to do was die as a time when I never felt complete, in sync/connected to the Creator or anyone else for that matter or balanced. No...my life was completely turned upside down and inside out.
Today..well...it is very different and I couldn't be happier. These changes, for me at least (and each person in recovery is different)didn't come all at once or right away...I worked hard at staying sober and trying to do the things I needed to do not only to stay sober but change my behavior completely. It was well worth it...
(PHOTO: Kathy Tomson)