Saturday, April 21, 2012
Feelings & Thoughts That...LINGER.
A cold, grey and rather windy early morning sunrise here on the island. The wind just seems to have it's own unique "sting" to it sometimes, making one crave a fire or at least the pleasure of climbing back under the down comforter on one's bed...
I wrote a POST last night on the subject of my aging and how it is accelerating the effects of my physical disabilities and health issues. Those realizations have left me feeling more then a little melancholy right now which probably is not helped by the cold, grey, blustery day greeting us here in lower Michigan this Saturday morning in mid- to late April.
I do realize that this too shall pass but accepting reality and living in the here and now takes more faith, courage and fortitude then my past life of avoiding pain and TRUTH at all costs. It is a simple and undeniable fact that human beings age...it happens to all of us and though there are some exceptions...most of us would prefer that we didn't age. Or at least it didn't affect us as much or that we could indeed as thy say "age more gracefully". I've always wondered who this "THEY" is....the truth is that I haven't a clue nor do I know anyone who claims to know them self.
It is probably one of the more difficult and relevant issues of my relationship with Kim because like I lot of people in our society...I have an inherent abhorrence of feeling like a burden to those people who love me. I really have trouble with the notion that at the age of 50 (in 10 years time) K-Sue will be faced with the reality that her husband cannot walk because of neuropathy or has had both of his feet amputated for the same reason and replaced with artificial limbs...just one of many scenarios related to my physical condition that really, really bother me.
Any way..the point is the thoughts and feelings...linger. And the answers I am looking for have not magically appeared the way that I expect them too. What to do then, I ask?
Well I shut this post down and head into town to hang out with 100 year old woman at the assisted living facility where I hang out on Saturday mornings. yep...it's THAT time to go hang with the "GIRLS"!
I imagine that I'll have something more to say on this subject latter but until then....bye, bye.
(Photo: K. Tomson)