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Thursday, April 12, 2012

It Isn't The FEAR That Does It



It isn't uncommon to be asked if it is fear of falling back into addiction that keeps me sober these days...and honestly fear as little if nothing to do with my recovery these days.


It certainly added some motivation when I was first getting clean and sober...I was terrified of using again and being dragged back into that insanity...that living hell that I once called my life. And fear certainly had it's place but in and of itself...it isn't enough to produce the desire for making the extremely difficult changes one must make if they really intend to live sober lives.


Today I would say the things that make life worth living are the very same things that keep me clean...my belief in God and wanting to serve him daily, in a worthy manner. And living my life to help others...that has done more for solidifying my sobriety then any thing else....this notion that to keep what I have (life/recovery) I have to give it away (IE: Help Others). Sounds incredibly simplistic but it works...


There certainly are times when I have missed the intensity of living that lifestyle...I lived an very exciting and intense life in many ways for many, many years and I have suffered withdraw symptoms almost as life has become much more sedate, mellow and intense. But I love life today and would not trade it back for anything...

1 comment:

  1. I know all to well what you are talking about. Sometimes I miss the chaos as well, only to sigh a breath of relief that life is so much better now - no matter how mellow.

    xo

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