It was the absolute worst decision that I made my entire career, to take a third shift management position but I was told it would be for a year. But the economy went soft, then the bottom fell out and I was just fortunate enough to hang on as over 50% of my peers were down-sized....it was an employment bloodbath and a very scary time when you had two children, both making decisions about college and approaching their High School Graduation.
The shift, by it's very nature was de-humanizing & isolating, which was really the worst thing possible for someone working 60 plus hours a week and a functional (but quickly deteriorating) alcoholic/addict. And I basically received little to no support or understanding from my wife at the time. I can now see that she clearly wanted out of the marriage but I was clueless about it any of that then. I was overwhelmed with working long hours and raising two kids from a previous marriage. I wasn't paying attention and should have been...Ultimately she used my isolation, my own obsession with alcohol and my being out of touch most evenings to deceive me and covertly go to counseling, initiate a divorce and buy a home before I really even knew what happened. I was told we were getting a divorce and that was final, I was not given a choice and I was devastated.
The worst humiliation was talking her into going to a counseling session but again she refused to even consider working on saving the marriage...I felt like a piece of human..no...less-then-human trash, one of the worst feelings I've ever had in my entire life. Today I not only am not bitter about that (But I sure was at the time) but I am happy it occurred, because looking back in hindsight it is obvious that the marriage really didn't exist and there was never any hope that it could be saved. Still,Sundays tend to trigger the memory of the "bad stuff.
Today...Sunday once again is an enjoyable day, peaceful and usually reserved for quality time with K and family. It's always a busy day around here in the summer so it would really suck if I had to go to work in the evening like I used to while everyone golfed, drank/partied their way through Sunday afternoon while I would be forced to try and get some sleep, more often then not...failing.
I even start of my Sundays by going to early church at 8:30a, which I never would have dreamed of in the past. ironic, eh? Speaking of church...you guessed it, gotta get going so we'll catch up with you later, my dear readers...if I'm not too busy enjoying myself!
(PHOTO: K. Tomson)