The EYES Know...

Anyone who has read this blog for awhile surely realizes that the author (Huh, that would be me...) has this thing about pictures looking into peoples eyes...in a lot of cases for Shell Shock Serenade they are the author's own eyes. 


Their have been three different title photos and in all three were some variation of those very same eyes. I honestly didn't sit down and think out a rational of why I was choosing to do this. The first title photo was an un-touched photo of one eye and honestly, I think it was kind of a fluke that I used it for the blog. Obviously I chose the title of the blog, knowing full well the implication of the term "Shell Shock" and I have always looked at peoples eyes as windows into their Soul. It's as if I'm implying Shell-Shock then opening a portal in which you may look in and see for yourself...


I believe now that whether it was a conscious decision or sub-conscious...that I posted the photo almost as proof that I had indeed experienced my very own form of Shell Shock and to prove it I was offering my own eye for the entire world to verify that fact for them self. Like "hey, here it is..if you don't believe me then check it out for yourselves..."

Because I'll be very frank, it is incredibly difficult to this day for me to look into my own eyes...whether it be in the bathroom mirror or a photograph.  I struggle with doing it because all I can see is trauma and pain in these eyes. That fact justified using the eye photo in my mind because I have always seen this blog as serious business for me. It is about my life and I was and am still using the daily writing of Shell Shock Serenade as a tool to help me heal, learn and grow...in addition to helping others.

So I put great value on it and I take it very seriously. I suppose I figure that the eye pics lend credibility to the endeavour...certainly they do in my minds eye. I figure the eyes do not lie...the most dangerous people that I know, are most dangerous because they can lie, repeatedly...and there eyes do not give them away. That's a frightening ability to have and it isn't natural OR easy...


I do believe I had honed my skills of deception and deceit to such a degree that I could pull that off periodically though not all the time. If a person can lie at will and not be held accountable...well, then they begin to feel and act...invincible. And that is the truly scary and DANGEROUS part, my dear blog friends. I certainly had my moments...

So now the cat is out of the bag and you know the story behind the eyes....so to speak!


I do have difficulty looking at these photos that I have used over the last 18 months or so here on The SHOCK. Why? Because every story I have ever lived, is reflected back to me through one measly glance at those eyes. And yes, I avert my OWN eyes even when I am looking in the mirror...I don't really want to "go there" again...because one glance is all it takes and I will begin re-living those experiences again. Sound unbelievable? Perhaps but it's true...


So it is just an adjustment and honestly at this point I don't mind that at all. I think if it is that intense an experience for me then these photographs truly are  perfect for gracing the Title Page of Shell Shock Serenade....


The only question left now, I suppose is how long before I'll run out of "eye" pics and move on to a different theme? It may be awhile and it may not...Well, Dear Reader...you'll just have to either wait awhile to find out or perhaps you may want to risk a quick look into these EYES and see if the TRUTH lies somewhere beyond that first glance...