Sheesh...I'm not feeling like a very nice person right now. As a matter of fact I'm feeling some very conflicted, angry feelings though I'm not entirely sure that I feel OK about feeling this way tonight.
In my life today I try to be understanding about other people and the way they conduct themselves. I realize that people often are just trying to do the best they can and it may not be how I would do it or want them to do it. So I try to take this into account and accept people the way they are yet there are times when this philosophy...doesn't really work.
I have been very open about the fact that I really care about K-sue. It hasn't been a secret though our relationship was difficult to define for many a year. Even though there are still things to be worked out about "US"...we are a couple and I tend to be a very loyal kind of person...toward my friends, family...everyone who is important to me.
Well I wasn't sure I should even post this here on the SHOCK but I have decided to because it is rather important to me to share how I feel about what I consider to be a total injustice...I'll refrain from becoming TOO specific here and relating specific details but this won't be pretty....
I am angry and have been angry for a long time about the way certain people, including family members of Kim have treated her. I have often said she is the only person I know who based on what I CAN PERSONALLY SEE WITH MY OWN EYE'S, etc., who never seems to have received any loving positive support what so ever...in her entire life. She was and still is basically just told how stupid, incompetant or wrong she is...it is SHOCKING to say the least. And abusive...and quite frankly this BS is still going on to this day with games being played using public humiliation and a litany of other incredibly cruel behavior. I wouldn't have believed this if I was relying on somebody else to tell me but I have seen it and lived through it with her for over 6 years.
These family members and X family members have never hesitated to put her children DIRECTLY in the middle of very adult legal and personal disagreements (right into line of fire), using them as leverage to manipulate her into doing what they want. It is the sickest most controlling behavior I have EVER witnessed. Let's face it...most decent, loving human beings do everything in their power to keep the children OUT OF THIS KIND OF SITUATION and PROTECT them. It's sick and frankly I am tired of her being hurt....really tired of it.
So people wonder why the urgency to make certain changes for her in her life and OUR lives...well, now you KNOW.
I know this post may come across as vindictive and mean-spirited but it isn't my intention to just throw fire...but I have watched this wonderful person, a beautiful spirit torn apart time and again and had to pick up the pieces...I won't be silent anymore. Since I have not been able to get involved personally for a lot of different reasons I have chosen to use the one forum open to me...this blog. It seems that other then a few people here and there and this just recently...that no one has EVER defended her...until NOW and this is the one way I can do it so here it is.
More then likely she is going to be upset with me for posting this...So Sorry Luv...it should have been done a LONG time ago and I feel totally responsible that I've waited until now to say something. It is a wrong and an injustice that needs to end right now, as in today And that may ONLY just begin to start to the process of healing that is LONG OVERDUE for my Special K-Sue.
So I hope that it is understood that I am reacting to an injustice and my heart is in the right place trying to defend Kim. I don't know if this post will help her in the long run or just stir up more dysfunctional manipulation, emotional instability & insanity, hurtful outbursts and name-calling. I pray only that GOD has a purpose for all of this and that he truly is in control.
I love you sweetheart...