Thursday, September 29, 2011
Slogging My Way Through...The Sludge.
And the rains continued to come, washing away the face of everything familiar here in the Coldwater, MI area. It has truly been a lousy, cool and wet September and in my recollection I'd say it has been the worse early Fall stretch of weather I can remember in many years.
The mood around here is damp, cold, wet and somber and I think that is rubbing off on folks. Of course I am an exception to the rule...I'm not overly fond of sunshine for the simple reasons that it bothers my eyes and since I was quite ill last year I get over-heated very easily. I also happen to adore cloudy skies...big, burly snow clouds, thunder-clap clouds....puffy little white jobs...I love 'em all, I truly do.
More often then NOT the weather doesn't affect my mood. Sure after 15 straight days in the 90 degree range when I lived in an old farmhouse in Holland, MI that didn't have air conditioning...well that got old, I'll admit it. But typically it doesn't bother me when it is grey out for a month at a time!
Lately I have felt a bit off-kilter in regards to my mood though and the weather hasn't anything to do with it. I just feel a little stretched emotionally. Pushed and pulled in different directions and I have lost some of the certainty or say clarity that I have enjoyed most of this summer.
I think a couple of the challenging events of the last couple of days have had some influence on my mood. Let's face it, I don't care what's going on in your life or who you are, we all can get in a rut sometimes. Things can stagnate or frustrate...I feel more frustrated by circumstance this time. I don't feel stagnant or in a rut. I have certain expectations regarding some personal issues that have not come to pass.
So I feel a bit down and unsure how to proceed day to day to change that circumstance. I know there are things that I'll keep doing in my life and they don't ever really change. That is some of the service work for others that I enjoy. I just know from experience that it is important for me to keep moving forward, just move and things tend to shake out of their funk for me a bit.
I have developed this feel for my writing over the last year and I can tell by that if my life is running smoothly or not. It's more difficult to write right now so I know deep down things are a bit of a struggle. My posts don't have that usual flow for me that they typically do. So I just keep writing and figure that I'll break through the sludge eventually...