So I feel like a caged animal right now being unable to act. That is one thing I have always done well in a crisis: I have always been pretty reliable and good in a pinch. When the poop hits the fan, I'm at my best. But this time because of money, distance and circumstance...I can't even get in the game. I'm 120 miles away sitting with my thumb up me BUM. That part is hard to take.
Anyway I can't really do anything about it. I made my bed a long time ago and I'm still paying for the excesses of the past. Perhaps some day I'll have the resources to travel when I need to or even want to but right now patience is required. This is rather new to me and obviously it's been a hard lesson to learn. I do not learn moderation lessons very willingly. That's pretty obvious...
I have posted several whiny, not so great posts here of late...But you get what it is as far as this blog is concerned and I'm floundering a tad bit today...I'm worried and concerned. I do believe God has a plan but I don't do well watching people suffer, particularly people I really care about. it makes me feel helpless and frankly feeling helpless actually digs up feelings from the past that are really unpleasant.
My original intention tonight was to watch the Major League Baseball All-Star Game but honestly, I just don't care. Tonight specifically and for the All Star Game in general...let's face it the true All Stars aren't there...they all have opted out. When I was a boy this was a real game and both sides played to win. It was an honor to be elected and to actually play so guys played in the game...even if they were hurt. Today no one wants to play and that is a real bummer.
Well perhaps some ice cream may sooth the savage beast insides....
